Don’t 'Elf' with Santa

Santa Clause, a.k.a. St. Nicholas is one of the most recognizable and mysterious symbols of the Christmas season. He is lauded by many as a gift-giver and bringer of joy to children. Still by others he is labeled a pagan distraction from Jesus whose birth the advent is meant to commemorate. But just who is the real man behind the beard? Regardless of whether you are a fan of Santa or a Santa hater, you probably don’t know much about the real St. Nick. What I’m about to share with you may totally change the way you see him.

Early Church records indicate that Santa was a real person. He was born to a wealthy Greek family in the 3rd century near the city of Myra in what is presently Turkey. His parents died and he used the family fortune to rescue people in need. One famous story surrounding old St. Nick is that he is said to have secretly put gold in stockings to save young ladies from a life of prostitution by giving them a dowry and thus making them eligible for marriage. In other words, Santa made it rain on them (would-be) hoes long before Lil Wayne threw his first dollar bill at a stripper. Could this possibly explain his laugh?

 Santa was made a Bishop at a young age but was known for much more than just his generosity. He had some serious street credibility among his Christian brethren. In fact, during the reign of Roman Emperor Diocletian he spent time in jail where he was tortured for being a leader in the Church. Torture methods used by Romans were notoriously brutal and left him disfigured. But Santa took it like a boss and never cracked. Christians who survived torture without denying their faith were called “confessors”.  It’s uncertain how many tattoos he received while locked up, but it’s probably where he picked up smoking.

Some protestant Christians don’t like Santa because they view him as a pagan symbol derived from Norse mythology. It’s true that both Odin and Santa enjoy flying and have epic beards. But that’s where the similarities end. The earliest historical traditions demonstrate that he was no friend of the pagan religions. During his time as Bishop of Myra, we are told that he directly challenged the old Roman gods at the Temple of Artemis and accounts tell us that “evil spirits fled howling before him.”  Santa was a Jedi.

Do you still want to call him a pagan? You better watch out. In fact, after Santa was released from prison he attended a meeting of church leaders in the year 325 called the Council of Nicea. At that meeting St. Nicholas is said to have knocked a brother out during a rather serious theological disagreement. This assault landed him back in jail. until according to legend, God spoke to one of the Church fathers in a dream and ordered St. Nick released from prison. Evidently Santa was super-tight with the Almighty.

All of these accounts make for a substantial contrast to our popular image of Santa in America which is principally derived from his depiction in the 1823 Clement Moore poem “A Visit from St. Nicholas”. It seems as though the real Santa has more in common with the Batman than his modern portrayals would have you believe. He was not a fat, jolly old guy but a heroic and generous individual. Of course he shouldn’t replace Jesus as the focus of Christmas, but I think he deserves a lot more respect than he receives. In other words don’t elf around with Santa and you’ll stay on his good list.

(As published in the Murreesboro Pulse December 2013)